BEYOND INTIMACY EPISODE 3
INTIMACY IS MORE THAN SEX
Sex is an important part of marital intimacy, but sex alone cannot sustain a marriage.
“You can have sexual activity without emotional connection”.
★ You can share a bedroom without sharing your heart.
★ You can live under the same roof and still live emotionally separate lives.
★ True marital intimacy involves knowing, understanding, appreciating and caring for one another.
★ The bedroom should not be the only place where intimacy happens.
★ Let intimacy happen in the conversation.
★ Let it happen in the kitchen.
★ Let it happen while caring for the children.
★ Let it happen during prayer.
★ Let it happen through encouragement.
★ Let it happen through kindness.
★ Let it happen through forgiveness.
★ Let it happen through companionship.
★ Let it happen through everyday acts of love.
DEAD TO SELF
To make marriage work, there must be a willingness to become dead to self.
This does not mean losing your identity, tolerating abuse or suppressing legitimate needs.
It means dying to:
– selfishness,
– pride,
– entitlement,
– stubbornness,
– constant scorekeeping,
– the need to always be right,
– and the attitude of “me first.”
Marriage requires two people who are willing to say:
“How can I make this work?”
Not only:
“What am I getting from this?”
Selflessness creates room for mutuality.
THE BALANCED HOME
When we understand 1 Corinthians 7:3 correctly, we begin to build homes where both spouses are intentionally looking out for each other.
A home where:
Feelings are respected.
Needs can be communicated.
Affection is expressed.
Responsibilities are shared.
Mistakes can be forgiven.
Successes are celebrated.
Both partners feel valued.
Both partners feel heard.
Both partners feel respected.
Both partners feel genuinely cared for.
CONCLUSION
Due benevolence is bigger than sexual intimacy.
It is a lifestyle of intentional love.
It is seeing your spouse’s need and responding with compassion.
It is going the extra mile.
It is learning how your spouse receives love and intentionally expressing it.
It is giving without constantly keeping scores.
It is serving without turning marriage into a competition.
It is choosing your spouse again and again not only with words, but through your actions.
Marriage thrives when love becomes intentional.
So let us build homes where husbands and wives do not merely coexist, but connect.
Let us build homes where both spouses feel:
VALUED.
HEARD.
RESPECTED.
SUPPORTED.
LOVED.
AND GENUINELY CARED FOR.
Final Reflection
Ask yourself:
“What form of due benevolence does my spouse need from me at this season?”
Then don’t just recognize it.
RENDER IT.
Because sometimes, the greatest expression of love is not what we say we feel, it is what we intentionally choose to do.
PRAYERS
1) Father, help us to die to selfishness, pride, and entitlement, and teach us to love our spouses intentionally, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
2) Father, make our marriages homes of genuine love, respect, understanding, and mutual care. Help us to render due benevolence, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
